Tuesday, June 11, 2019

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest: My Foot's Asleep Deluxe! Edition!

Please stop inject Mountain Dew straight into the veins of your armpits. 1) it's bad for you 2) it hurts me to think about 3) Mountain Dew wasn't made to do that.

They smell like they haven't wiped their asses in ages.

I sentence you to death.

Doc, this couch is sopping wet.

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Eat a friggin' carrot.