Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Thursday, June 19, 2014
That one guy did that thing with his feet, connecting to the ball and it went far but the other team got it and did a foot thing, too. The other team got it and did some feet stuff and ran around for awhile.
It went back and forth like that for a couple of minutes until someone kicked it near that net post but the guy in front of it caught it with his hands. HANDS! HANDS, PEOPLE.
Whistles were blown and stuff, people cheered, and both teams kept doing more foot stuff.
The guy not on any team pulled out a yellow card and half the crowd made sounds similar to booing while the half cheered in a language I couldn't understand.
I've always heard American commentators were amateurs but I found nothing wrong with them tirelessly retelling everyone's trying stories about being able to play soccer professionally while still holding jobs down at Target to pay for their fancy haircuts.
You need good legs to play soccer but you need a better haircut, so they say.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Even as a child, I pretended to like soccer and flag pins just to eat unlimited chicken nuggets and BBQ sauce (this was before the ten cent upcharge on "extra" sauce packets.)
So, you and your friends want to be super worldly and Euro. I get it. I present to you, the Dumb Ass's Guide to the World Cup 2014.
Sunday, June 8, 2014
KOOP radio in Austin is a gem. I'm not just saying that because I was on it. I'm saying it because it is true community owned and run radio. They are not an affiliate of anyone. They are community supported, community owned, and community run. The people who work there care about what they're doing and they provide the real sound of Austin.
I was nervous going in. I practiced saying things without curse words or salty imagery all day at work. I already knew I couldn't read any of my stories on the air without being heavily edited. While I could have chopped off some limbs of a story in order to make it FCC friendly, I decided not to. That was the right decision.
The Google Books version with no personal doodle : ( :
Toilet Stories From Outer Space
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Because most of my stories cannot be read over FCC regulated airwaves and I can't read one over the air tomorrow night on KOOP 91.7FM, I wanted to direct you to some of my short stories that are available online.