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Showing posts with label Toilet Stories From Outer Space. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Toilet Stories From Outer Space. Show all posts

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Starting the new year off on some kind of foot

Howdy, folks.

If you've spoken to me or seen any of my online conversations, you'll notice I've been using the excuse of, "I'm in the middle of a move," quite often. I love having a built in excuse for everything. It's like blaming the rain. But it's also a valid excuse for me. It's hard to pack everything you've accumulated over three years into a Honda Civic and into a storage unit.

It's not hard for me to shed things, though. I can take one look at something that used to mean something to me and say, "Fuck it," and throw it in the trash. I can't do that with books. I've donated some books, sure, but the majority of books I have stay with me. And books take up a lot of space. A boxful of books is also pretty damn heavy. When I put a box of books on my front passenger seat, the seatbelt warning goes off.

So it's taking a long time to get moved.


2015 was a good year. Death Thing was published, it was well-reviewed, and seemed to be selling well. I met a lot of good folks thanks to Death Thing including Danny Gardner and Will Viharo. Both these guys are top class writers. Look at the bottom of this blog post for some buy links. You really should read their work.

One thing that binds us is we all wrote for Double Life Press. Craig McNeely picked Death Thing up and commissioned a great looking cover by Dyer Wilk. I'm convinced the cover is half the reason a lot of people picked up the book in the first place. Alas, as with a lot of small presses, Double Life Press couldn't keep on in the midst of uncontrollable circumstances outside of the press. Any bystander could see the quality of work Double Life Press was putting out and think that DLP would be around forever. Hell, I thought they would be.

It should be made clear that I am incredibly grateful for the work Craig McNeely put in for me. Death Thing getting published was a career milestone for me and I am grateful for the experience. DLP closing means I have regained all the rights to Death Thing and am free to do what I want with it. At first, I thought I was going to try to get it republished by another small press but it's already been published and a lot of mileage it got early on is probably about as much mileage as it's going to get. It probably wouldn't be worth it to republish Death Thing unless something big happened (I'm working on getting something big to happen).

Instead, I've decided I'll probably have Weekly Weird Monthly reprint Death Thing to keep it in print and available for people to buy while hopefully retaining the reviews that were left on the original printing. I will try to get the sequels to Death Thing published at other small presses because there are a few more Death Thing tales to be told.

I read at Malvern Books in Austin, TX last night to promote Death Thing and Cat Food. The reading went very well. Before the event started, I was looking through the Facebook event page to see who all had RSVP'd. I saw the name MP Johnson and turned to Nina and said, "That's gotta be a mistake. He lives in Minnesota." It was no mistake. He pulled up and came to the show. He's escaping the winter in Minnesota in Austin; a wise decision. I first read MP Johnson's work at Out of the Gutter with a story called "Woods Porn." It was the weirdest fucking thing Out of the Gutter has ever published and I loved it. Unfortunately, I can't find the link to it either because I'm inept or I've slipped into a parallel universe where that story never existed.

MP with me and my unruly beard. I really hope he digs the books. 

It was also nice to see some old faithfuls come out to hear me read when they've heard the same bad joke ten times. They know who they are. 

2016 is going to be a big year. There's a lot planned for Weekly Weird Monthly. First up is Cheryl Couture's chapbook Beauty Pageant. After that, Sam Trevino's chap of poetry, Let Me Take Off My Wolf Mask and my own novella, Bangface

It's going to be a good year. Start it off right with some reading material:









Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Halloween Stories

Horror is one of my favorite forms of fiction to read and write. Halloween is great for two reasons: It's the one episode of the year for the Simpsons that is guaranteed to be okay and everyone's talking horror. 

So here are a few of my freely available horror-ish stories online:










Happy Halloween! Be sure to check out the anthologies I'm a part of by clicking here

The Dark Corners anthology is full of great pulp and includes my short story, "Voice of God."

JUNK is full of weirdo stories and includes my short story, "Flesh House." 



Sunday, June 8, 2014

Radio thing

Hello.


KOOP radio in Austin is a gem. I'm not just saying that because I was on it. I'm saying it because it is true community owned and run radio. They are not an affiliate of anyone. They are community supported, community owned, and community run. The people who work there care about what they're doing and they provide the real sound of Austin.

I was nervous going in. I practiced saying things without curse words or salty imagery all day at work. I already knew I couldn't read any of my stories on the air without being heavily edited. While I could have chopped off some limbs of a story in order to make it FCC friendly, I decided not to. That was the right decision.



So what else is cooking? 

A NEW EATING & READING - Someone called it "David Lynchy." 

NINA TALKS GARDENING - She can't stop, she won't stop. 

JUNK ANTHOLOGY REVIEWED HONESTLY - If you listened to my interview, this is the anthology that "Flesh House" is in. 

Buy Toilet Stories From Outer Space!

The physical copy with a very special doodle dedicated to you: 



The Amazon eBook version with no personal doodle : ( : 

Toilet Stories From Outer Space

The Google Books version with no personal doodle : ( :

Toilet Stories From Outer Space

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Welcome!

I've been checking my website stats and I've noticed an influx of new readers coming from KOOP's Writing on the Air and Ten Minute Interviews. Welcome, new readers!

Because most of my stories cannot be read over FCC regulated airwaves and I can't read one over the air tomorrow night on KOOP 91.7FM, I wanted to direct you to some of my short stories that are available online.












Once again, welcome. I hope you enjoy what you find here. If you find yourself itching to buy my chapbook, Toilet Stories From Outer Space, there are options below. 

The first option is the best option. If you buy the physical copy, I guarantee that I will doodle something on the first page for you. Hell, request a doodle. It's only $5 and there's 7 stories in there. Click that Buy Now button.

Toilet Stories From Outer Space
7 stories
$5



Or, you can get the ebook from Google or Amazon without a doodle.


Oh, and while I'm doing the whole shameless self-promotion thing: Twitter @AHILBERT3000 Facebook

Thanks for reading!

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Sick days are great days for price slashing

This is my third day being in a Nyquil induced haze of euphoric chakra harvesting (whatever that means).

Ladies and gentlegoats, it is my pleasure to announce to you that, in my sniffle fueled bout of madness, I have decided to lower the online cost of Toilet Stories From Outer Space to $5!

That's 7 stories for $5 including shipping. Beat yourself over the head with a hammer on that one, folks. Run, don't walk, to catch the deal of the century.





Monday, March 10, 2014

The Miraculous Life of Kim Jong-il According to a Texas Cowboy who Just Shot the Last American Polar Bear in San Antonio

I'm nearing the end of my pile of chapbooks.

In celebration of such a miraculous event, please enjoy a story from within its pages, The Miraculous Life of Kim Jong-il.







Buy the chapbook! Love it! Share it! Give as a gift! Send to a friend! Help me eat!


Toilet Stories From Outer Space
7 Stories
by Andrew Hilbert
$7, shipping included



Sunday, February 23, 2014

My Talking Dog



Take a listen to a story featured in Toilet Stories From Outer Space.

It's called My Talking Dog. The cover image was illustrated by Todd Mein. The theme song was written and performed by yours truly. 




You can buy Toilet Stories From Outer Space by clicking here. The price includes shipping.

Below are all the images from the story.








Thursday, February 20, 2014

Texas Book Festival Hearts Indies

Well, well, well.

Tonight was the Texas Book Festival's TBF Hearts Indies shindig at Cheer Up Charlies brand new location on Red River in Austin, TX and it couldn't have gone any sweller.

What a night.

I am one of the founders of Slagdrop and we represented the only way we knew how: haphazardly, cheap, and drunkenly. We gave away a ton of free stuff. One of the things we gave away was our magazine, Slagdrop Presents America... You're Welcome. The connect the dots bit was pretty popular with the folks there. It's good to know that great writers like Ryan Sayles, Cheryl Couture, Cortin A. Zelaznog, Clint Margrave, Gerald Locklin, Zachary Locklin, Scott Montgomery, and a whole lot more are in the hands of a bunch of Austinites right now. We must have given away fifty copies. No one was keeping count, though.

We were also giving away Jack Arambula's and my Rick Perry Scary sticker and handmade, locally sourced, 100% organic 'drink insulators.' If you stare at the drink insulators long enough, they turn into scoby for kombucha. Hippies love that shit.

The next time you drink kombucha, think about the bacteria mound called scoby that was exploited to make it.

I sold a whole lot of Toilet Stories From Outer Space chapbooks which was really exciting. The major selling point was telling folks that each story is about a bowel movement long and was clinically proven to help ease constipation by Mr. Hara-san.

But more than the personal victories, it was great connecting with other indie publishers and authors doing great things in Austin. The Austin Review, A Strange Object, American Short Fiction, Foxing Quarterly, Fields, Unstuck... all of these people are doing great things.

Austin is the live music capitol of the world, yes, but it's also home to a budding scene of indie literature that rivals the best of them.

But I'm always representing Long Beach, CA. 

Here's to Austin. Here's to indie. Here's to Lone Star. Cheers.