New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest: February Fun Fun Fun Funky Fun Times Edition, Volume F

A grand Hilbert Heckler tradition! The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest wherein I submit to you my joyless captions for joyless cartoons in a contest I will never compete in!

I ordered this thing for my wife but it didn't come with any mustard. 

You don't even respect that we're alive and swimming, man!

It's all organic, baby. Their shit tastes like grass. Their meat tastes like shit. Whole Foods is interested.