Friday, September 29, 2017

Don't break your dick when the road is slick

It's raining in Austin right now. It's raining and it's my favorite weather. It's cooler, it gives me built in excuses to not do anything, it helps me align my chakras.

I don't have an umbrella. I did at one time but umbrellas are like prophylactics. You only realize you need one when you're practicing on a banana and, let's be honest, who regularly stocks bananas?


It's work time. The ground is slick and I laugh too myself as I speed-shuffle into the front door because there's a wet floor sign outside.

"Duh," I think to myself. "What kind of idiot complained about the outside sidewalk being we–"

Folks, I slipped and lost my balance, banging my head on the very wet sign whose necessity I questioned. It still wasn't necessary. In fact, had the piso mojado sign not been there, I wouldn't have hit my head. I wouldn't have a hardening bump on my left temple. I wouldn't have to take a few Advil right now.

Deerman, episode 4 is live for patrons right now!

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