Sunday, October 26, 2014

Snoop Dogg's Instagram and My Dreams of America

I had a dream last night that I was hanging with Snoop Dogg. He, for whatever reason, wanted to hang in my dump of an apartment in Texas of all places but all he did was update his Instagram. I was pretty stoked to be chilling with Snoop but I felt pretty frustrated that he was using all his time to take selfies, take pictures of his fingernail, take video of him dancing to whatever music we were listening to, and filming himself eating a fucking croissant (seriously).

Snoop's new character, Todd, who is white. 

Snoop is awesome. I still listen to Doggy Style often. Many people can attest to that. Gz and Hustlas is one of my favorite songs. It just hits all the emotional highs and lows you want from a song about being a bad ass motherfucker. But, come on, Snoop. When you're in my dream, you don't get to sit around and Instagram. 

Social media, as I've grown up with, is probably long gone. Nobody likes Facebook; it's full of twenty-somethings screaming  LOOK AT ME and other twenty-somethings, who can't stop looking at people they hate, looking and grimacing. I and most people I know are guilty of both. 

There are a few people I keep as "friends" just to see all the stupid shit they say. I have one friend who is constantly taking pictures of their feet in some cool place. Maybe it's an art project that will take years for me to understand but for now, at least, it's just a bunch of perfectly fine photos ruined by feet. So, yes, I can't stop looking at people I can't stand to look at. But this article will likely be posted on Facebook so I am also guilty of screaming to everyone to acknowledge that I can string a few words together and make them sound totally unlike a fart. 

This is the point. We are very good at demanding attention without ever giving any. So many of my conversations start off with, "Did you see what I posted about blah, blah, blah?" If I'm being asked, I usually lie and nod my head and say, "Yeah, I read the first paragraph. I plan to read it later." Then I find out they're talking about their goddamned foot photo. 

It's no longer very interesting. People with whom I agree on politics become insufferable rectal wrinkles online. People with whom I disagree have always been annoying and I pay more attention to them because they piss me off. I'm on an endless anger loop online and I don't think that I'm the only person becoming exhausted with it all.

But we are stuck. For people like me, who are separated from their families and old friends by states, social media, stale as it may be, is the only way to feel connected to them. It's the only way to feel like you see them every day. For every ten people I skip over, I am generally interested in one and that's enough to keep me logging in.

When Facebook goes the way of myspace, I doubt I'll sign up. I signed up for ello and it's already a ghost town. It took me awhile to sign up for Instagram, but I did. I still don't have snapchat because I have no fucking clue what it is and I'm sure I know nothing of what's coming next. It's already out there and some college kids are sending dick pics to each other with it. And in ten years all your Republican family members will join and the party will be over. 

Thanks for the jumping off point, Dream Snoop. 




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