"Why do you keep pointing at your dick, Dr. Dickhead?"
That is what I wish I had said in response to my doctor. Of course, the perfect comeback came while recounting the story to my family on the phone.
I thought about scheduling a follow-up appointment with the doctor only to construct the perfect setting to say that but I've found that the more I say it to myself, the less satisfied I'll be when saying it to its intended target.
Some people just don't get the backtalk they deserve and, since he's a doctor, he'll probably come up with a better comeback or he'll prescribe me nothing but suppositories for the rest of my life.
Big things are on the way from Weekly Weird Monthly. News to come!
In the meantime, read a short story. HERE (NSFW).