New Yorker cartoon caption contest: Wild Wednesday Edition

It's the time of year when people start giving up on their dreams which can only mean another edition of New Yorker blah blah blah blah yay!

Even in the face of certain death, this mother fucker sucks ass.

I'm on a gluten free diet and I just can't get hard if you're serving me this wheaty, GMO-full bullshit. Excuse me while I go fuck a tree because we're the only two fucking people on this planet and you're just one inconsiderate monster.

It has the same texture as human meat but doesn't squeal like a bitch when you eat it.