Trump gets Comey-ed

Donald Trump got Comey-ed yesterday. Ask Hillary Clinton how it feels. She's currently a few months into her "I lost everything beard."

I don't think a mass of coagulated smegma can grow a beard so Donald Trump doesn't have to worry about that.

Donald Trump is under investigation by the FBI. I think that's a pretty big deal but there's something else that's tickling my taint. I've got friends on facebook eating each other alive over how they fight the Donald Trump regime.

Some folks say Russia is a distraction for real issues. Some folks say tax returns are unimportant. Some folks say the exact opposite. Then they turn their fury towards each other until they are inevitably deemed racist.

There is no way to fight Donald Trump on facebook. Who gives a fuck if somebody posts an article about Russia? Who gives a fuck if somebody posts a super-impotence-inducing wonky op-ed about the intricacies of Donald Trump's tariff on Mexican Muslims? Donald Trump isn't reading your posts. Nobody is reading your posts. The only people reading your posts are people who want to actively disagree with you. Donald Trump can't see your posts if they're set to "Friends Only."

Comrade Donald IS under investigation by the FBI. That's kind of a big deal. Maybe it's not so much of a distraction anymore. Other intellectual issues are also important. Why can't I have bacon with my salad? I want it all but I what I want most is for everyone to stop policing everyone else's opinions as if their opinions will somehow reach the ear of Donald Trump and turn him into a dildo.

Listen, Captain Smarty Pants. I wish we were all talking about the criminally underfunded Russian language classes in public schools but I'm also heating up popcorn in the microwave to watch this Russia drama unfold. Sure, it may amount to nothing but Benghazi and emails got Trey Gowdy hard for half a decade. Just look how tight his face is.

Maybe this is the invigorating blue pill that will ride us back into the White House.

I don't know. You don't know. None of us know. All I know is if Paul Manafort was irradiated on the steps of the Kremlin, Republicans would be mad that that information got out considering the Kremlin turns off their cameras every time somebody gets assassinated on the property. Leakers!