New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest: Contest of Captioning Cartoons Edition!

Ugh, it's a tradition around these parts.

Ugh, it's like standing up and saying the national anthem when you're a kid. You don't want to do it but you also don't want to be thrown into the gulags, either.

It's like not wanting to support Chick-fil-A's abhorrent politics but your family always gets platters of their nuggets for Christmas, so you don't want to ruin Christmas either.

It's like a goddamn Alanis Morissette song. Who would've thought? It figures.

I swore to your father when we got married that I'd never let you go hungry. Well, honey, now all we can afford to eat are Italian leather briefcases. 

Pool's closed. It's just a little too gay right now.

You probably shouldn't have worn your birdseed suit out today, dear.