Saturday, January 21, 2017

Things only people who identify as introverts and extroverts at the maximally beneficial time will understand

1. Oh, Stalin was an extrovert? Crazy! Me, too. Wait, he was an introvert? Crazy! Me, too!

2. I'M GOING TO RILE SOME MOTHERFUCKERS UP WITH THE FACEBOOK POST. LET'S ALL GO MARCH AND SHIT AND BE ENERGIZED BY EACH OTHER BECAUSE I'M AN EXTROVERT! but, wait. Becky's going to be there? No, no, it's not that I don't like her it's just that I'm a little overextended and while my political beliefs are important to me, I need to take care of myself. I'm going to build a pillow fort and take more online quizzes to build my reality around. 

3. I'm going into Chick-Fil-A and I'm going to make new friends because I love meeting new people. Oh, FUCK! Stop everything. Becky is here and she would totally judge me if she saw me supporting this very establishment she is wearing large sunglasses and a mask in. Better revert to introvert! Drive thru, suckas! AND DON'T SKIMP ON THE SAUCE, YOU NUGGET MONGER.

4. I'm going to take this online test on BuzzFeed 100 times until I get AMBIVERT because that's in fucking vogue right now. And fucking Becky got it but I know she cheated. I better hire a hacker to figure out the complicated algorithms BuzzFeed uses to make sure they even have an AMBIVERT setting. I bet they still think the world is as simple as intro, extro, and per. This is Trump's America. Shit changed.

5. But in the end, we all know that we're just assholes making blog posts.

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